THREE IS BETTER!

In Praise of Threesomes

 

By Suzie Mann

A woman with a passion for sex

  © Copyright Suzie Mann

 

Okay, I admit it.  I’m obsessed with threesomes!  Always have been, always will be.

     My favourite kind of sex is to be with two men.  Nothing beats it!

     Maybe to many people the idea of a threesome suggests a man and two women, but I’m straight and my passion is purely for the MMF variety.  One of me and two of them - that’s the way I like it!

     Now of course you can have good sex with one man, but adding a second takes things into a new league.  I can’t imagine any straight woman not enjoying a double dose of masculinity.  Two men holding and kissing and caressing you at the same time; clutching a head to each breast (well, there are two available!); the delicious concept of turning from one man to another - from one urgent embrace to the next.  Reaching a fantastic climax then having somebody fresh there to ask whether perhaps you’d like to do it all again; or if you take time to get warmed up, less chance of disappointment and more chance of getting enough of the right stimulation.

     But it’s an emotional as well as a sexual thing.  For some reason, having your hands on two naked bodies at the same time touches the soul!  It means so much to me that sometimes I’ve thought I have two ‘states of existence’ - lying between two men, or not lying between two men!  I strive to be in the former state as often as possible!

     I’m clearly not alone in my penchant for something other than one-to-one sex.  There’s a huge swinging scene out there and a glance at any sort of contacts magazine or website will show just how many couples are experimenting by seeking to find a third party - often another man - to join them in bed.  Perhaps in some cases this is driven by the husband or boyfriend wanting to watch his partner with someone else, but I’m sure I’m far from the only woman who wants it for herself.  On one level, it’s pure lust for an extra helping of sexual attention.  I mean, one guy down where it matters bringing you to orgasm, at the same time as the other gives you passionate kisses and squeezes your breasts - what’s not to like?!

     I had my first threesome in my early twenties, and it was contrived.  I knew what I wanted - I’d fantasised about it often - and set out to get it by advertising directly.  Now believe me, there’s no shortage of pairs of buddies out there interested in doing this sort of thing, so I had lots of offers.  I met up with two very friendly, easygoing guys in a neighbouring town, and went back to their flat.  I wasn’t all that experienced at the time and I particularly remember the novelty and thrill of watching two men wandering around naked - something I still always enjoy, of course, but is never quite as exciting as the first time.

     It was wonderful!  Standing there snogging someone you really fancy, then feeling his mate come up behind you and kiss your neck, slip his hands down onto your bum.  Rolling round on the bed between them, holding them both close, your legs all entangled.  Always something happening, always someone to turn to!

     When you’ve dreamed of doing something, then made it happen and really enjoyed it, it reaffirms your interests and your sexuality.  I’ve always known what I like - even before I’d ever done it!

     It’s funny though that my very first threesome raised the issue of what the relationship between the men is on such occasions.  In other words, do they also have a sexual interest in each other?

     I guess of all the threesomes I’ve ever had (and that’s quite a few!) more than half have been bi, to a greater or lesser extent.  Much as men might label themselves in contact adverts as straight, or insist at sex parties that they don’t want the other men to get ‘too close’, it’s a fact of life that when you get those same men together in private, a large proportion will turn out to have had some experience with other men, or at least be prepared to try.

     In that first threesome of mine, one of the pair was strictly straight, whereas the other was keen to get a bit more intimate with his friend.  They argued about it good-naturedly throughout the evening, but nothing was resolved.  I’ve sometimes wondered who won in the end, and what effect it had on their friendship.

     As for me, I simply discovered that I didn’t mind either way!  I must be very liberal by nature, because I was always very relaxed about it.  In fact I found that I rather enjoyed the idea of watching.  It doesn’t arouse me directly - it’s not like the thing about men getting off on ‘girl on girl’ action - but it hits some sort of special spot.  Seeing a man run a hand down another’s back, or wrap his arms round the other guy’s waist from behind.  Watching them grab at each other and throw their heads back in unison, both groaning with arousal.  I don’t know - it’s exotic and exciting!

     And from the woman’s point of view - well, there are just lots of things you can do with two bi guys that you can’t with two who are straight.  I’ll leave the details to your imagination!

     Most of my early threesomes were straight, though, and taught me the various ‘staples’ of threesome sex.  Your average adult movie will probably feature most of the sex acts I’m referring to!  They’re hardly uncommon.  (Certain terms, like ‘spitroast’, suddenly take on a new meaning!)

     God, I’ve had some wonderful duos of men!  There’s an aesthetic about it, especially if their looks are complementary.  One blond, one dark; one with short cropped hair, one with longer waves; one in a leather jacket…actually, both in a leather jacket is good for me!

     I remember two very attractive guys pulling up in a flash car, getting out each side and walking round to meet me, one proffering a bottle of champagne, the other a bunch of flowers.  They were all charm and self confidence; an overwhelming masculine presence - just what I wanted!  Once home, they surprised me while I went to make them coffee, stripping off naked immediately and clambering into my bed, full of laughs.  We got very cosy and had a great time.  Not a bad way to spend an evening, you have to admit!

     Another memorable night was one I spent with two Italian guys, who played beautiful Verdi opera arias while we made love:  I think of it as ‘The Opera Threesome’.  The sex was slow and endless, and they were very gentle and very attentive.  It put me into a sort of rapturous state, entranced by the experience and the beautiful music.  It can be very difficult to tear yourself away from that sort of thing - who wants to head out back to the real world?

     I once had a spontaneous and unexpected threesome on a night train across France.  Two young American backpackers chatted me up in the corridor, and invited me to share their carriage - they bribed the guard to get one to themselves and not be interrupted!  We played around as the train sped across the country towards Switzerland, me lying naked along the seat, them taking turns and swapping positions.  They got off somewhere obscure in the middle of the night, but left me with a good feeling.  It’s experiences like these that make life worth living!

     And there was one particularly fantastic, spectacular straight threesome I’ll always remember - with two stunning guys in a hotel near Piccadilly, on a sweltering hot summer afternoon.  Sweaty bodies, endless action - top notch sex!  When it was finally over, I went for a walk in a nearby park, alone - sat on a bench and couldn’t get over what an amazing experience I’d just had.  I don’t think I’d ever felt so high!  It was just so right for me.

     Straight threesomes are great - you get all the attention focused on you, and I enjoy it when the men are good friends and very relaxed with each other.  I love men who aren’t sexually jealous, but are prepared to share.  I get a kick out of watching the rapport between them.

     But I have to say I’ve had some pretty good bi threesomes as well, thanks mainly to various men I’ve teamed up with who have shared my interests and become ‘fuckbuddies’.  It’s not much different - if all goes well, you still get a double helping of enthusiasm and attention - it’s just that there’s some other stuff going on as well.

     In general the men are just orally bi, but I have seen some more serious action and I do rather like being at the bottom of the stack for a change, if you know what I mean!  I love sharing the giving of oral sex with someone - losing myself in that state that’s half blowjob, half a kiss.  And I can’t help it, I also enjoy seeing men kiss each other.

     Now for a lot of bi guys, kissing is the final intimacy and a lot won’t do it, whatever else they’ll do to each other.  I once said to a partner during a particularly passionate and emotional threesome, “That’s the one thing I’ve never seen you do”.  And it was wonderful the way they went for each other and wouldn’t stop snogging the whole rest of the night.

     And you can try, but you won’t convince me that anything on this planet is as mind-blowing as a proper three-way kiss!  If you haven’t tried it, you haven’t lived!

     A classic bi threesome I had was in a flat near Canary Wharf - a younger guy and an older guy, say about twenty five and fifty years old.  They saw each other regularly but were both very keen on women as well.  The older guy was very tender and protective of the younger; sitting stroking his head when we took a break, kissing him on the forehead to say goodbye.  The younger guy was really keen - there was a bit of submissiveness and worship in there; he got very absorbed in giving his friend attention.

     With those two men I used to feel so comfortable and relaxed, almost serene.  There wasn’t much chat.  Some situations are all jokes and laughter and fooling round, but sometimes - particularly when it’s all experienced people who are into the same thing - it can be quiet and laid back, and just very intense, in a nice way.

     We would do just about everything it’s possible for three people to do together; one thing after another, no discussion, just going with the flow.  God, I wish I was back there with them now - it was heaven!

     Talking of submissiveness, I’ve experienced a few more extreme scenarios as well, when the men are into power games, and one is being seriously subservient to the other.  I walked into a room once and got a warning that I might not want to see what was going on next door.  With some trepidation and after considerable reassurance, I ventured into the bedroom to find a submissive guy in serious leather and rope bondage - only one part of him remaining exposed!

     I got offered a choice - would I like to undertake a dominant role and have the hapless slave service both his master and a mistress, or would I prefer to join him in bondage so that we could both serve our cruel master (who was a bit of a dish!) together?

     I shall leave you to guess which role I assumed!

     I must admit I’ve also got a certain satisfaction out of bringing bisexual men together; enjoying seeing my lovers in different combinations.  I’ve had people ask me about other people I’m seeing, suggesting that perhaps I introduce them.  I’ve enjoyed the excitement of anticipation; fielding phonecalls asking me if the other guy has agreed, whispering in bed about what it’s going to be like when we all get together.

     I’ve suffered anxieties; introducing two strangers in a pub, terrified that they won’t fancy each other or won’t get on.  But I guess I’d only bring together men who I thought had a chance of liking each other’s bodies, and my judgement has always been proved correct!

     It’s a wonderful thing, to suddenly be in a room together with two different men you’re very familiar with sexually; even more wonderful and exciting - to me, at least - to watch them touch for the first time, explore each other.  Joke about my foibles, maybe; tease me about being insatiable.

     It’s true, once I get going I never want to stop, and maybe sometimes I get a little overenthusiastic!  But what can I do?  I’m hooked!

     You used to see the word ‘synergy’ around a lot; it’s died a bit as a buzz word now.  It means ‘greater than the sum of the parts’.

     As far as I am concerned, this is a word that definitely applies to threesomes.  However gorgeous one guy is, however brilliant a lover the other - bring them together and it’s way better than having them both separately.  It’s more than twice as good, though it’s difficult to explain exactly why.  You’ll just have to trust me!

     I suppose the most special situation I’ve had has been where I’ve seen the same two guys regularly over a period of time, and we’ve all become a little more ‘involved’.  You end up with a three way relationship of sorts, and maybe your feelings get stirred in a different way, and things become a bit more emotional and complicated.  In my experience, it’s only bi threesomes that sometimes become more enduring.  I guess each party is getting something out of relating to two others - it’s more evenly balanced.  And of course for some bisexual men, it’s a dream come true - being with a man and a woman at the same time, and regularly!

     I’ve so loved this sort of thing.  I sometimes think it’s familiarity I like best, really.  Meeting new people is fun - more exciting, perhaps - but being one of three people who are all good friends and established lovers is just unbeatable.  Greeting two men you haven’t seen for a while with hugs and kisses, climbing into bed between them and accepting their welcoming caresses, is really the most fantastic thing - I recommend it!  Though of course it’s not the sort of thing that happens every day - you’re lucky if it comes your way occasionally, and believe me, I know when I’ve been lucky.

     You might wonder where proper love fits into all this, and I suppose I don’t think it does.  I’ve had my share of emotional attachments and obsessions, but there have been occasions when I’m in my special place, lying between two sleeping men I’ve just had great sex with, that I’ve got tearful and depressed - because I’ve known that really, at the end of the day, it has just been about sex, and there isn’t really any love there.  I guess life isn’t so perfect!

     So do I ever wonder about what the other sort of threesome might be like?  Or one of the other sorts, I should say, for of course you could have three women together, or three men (happens a lot, apparently).  Hm, let me see; two sets of red lips pleasuring a man at the same time, two sets of breasts pressed against his chest; two rounded bottoms presented for him to choose from; one woman sighing, one screaming with pleasure as he keeps both his hands busy..

     Well, it may do something for you, but I’ll pass!  I know what I like and I’m not in the experimenting stage.  Men only for me, please!

     Incidentally, why is it always assumed that a MFF threesome will involve lesbian action?  It’s perfectly possible to have a straight threesome with two men, so conceivably two straight women would be prepared to give a guy a good time together without wanting to be intimate with each other.  You never hear of it, though.

     And while I’m on the topic, why is there this notion that a woman making love to another woman somehow makes her more feminine, whereas a man making love to another man makes him less masculine?  I’d have to disagree! 

     Anyway, where does it come from, this desire for having one man on each side, one at each end; for watching men play with each other; for being shared?

     Teenage infatuations with various duos of men on television might have had something to do with it!  When you’re fantasising about two fictional characters, there really is no need to choose between them - you can easily be the girlfriend of both!

     Bodie & Doyle and Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid have a lot to answer for!

     And certainly it comes up in literature.  Many writers - often women - have explored the themes of male relationships, and bisexuality, and three way relationships.  I’m clearly not unique in my feelings on this subject.

     I also have a theory that there’s a ‘parent’ thing in there somewhere.  We’re all actually primed to want and enjoy triangular relationships - a child needs attention from both its parents, turns to Mummy for one thing, to Daddy for another.  Maybe this gets mixed up with adult sexuality in those of us who so love to be ‘in the middle’!

     But in general, I don’t analyse, I just enjoy!  As I sometimes think when I see an advert for a certain dark beverage, ‘Well, toucan - but three is better!’